THE MOST IMPORTANT THINGS IN LIFE ARE NOT THINGS!

By Dr. Robert Rohm

The Stanford Research Institute, Harvard University, and the Carnegie Foundation once spent over one million dollars and five years of research studying why some people succeed. After the study was concluded, it was determined that 15% of the reason a person is able to get a job, keep a job, and move ahead in that job, is determined by his or her technical skills and knowledge, regardless of the profession. The other 85% of the reason a person is able to get a job, keep that job, and move ahead in that job, is directly related to people skills. It soon becomes apparent that working with people and managing people, starting with ourselves, must be a high priority if we are going to be successful.

Even though I have heard that statistic quoted many times, I am still amazed at how much of business and life is primarily dictated by the task at hand, rather than the people skills that are necessary to complete the job. It seems to me that because the task often overrides the relationship, we tend to get our eyes on the wrong thing. We frequently focus on accomplishing the task in front of us rather than realizing the value found in relationships.

Almost every marriage begins on a great note because two people set out to build a lasting relationship. However, it is not long until accomplishing tasks becomes the norm. Getting up, going to work, paying the bills, cutting the grass, house repairs, car maintenance, painting the fence…well, I think you get the idea. Can you see how the tasks scream at you and it is not long before it drowns out the relationship?

Anyone who has ever had children understands this as well. It starts with such a beautiful relationship when your own flesh and blood is born into the world. And quickly, the tasks begin - feeding, changing, and watching the baby. That infant quickly becomes a young child. Then, protecting them, raising them, educating them, training them, taking them to school and to all sorts of school activities…I think you get the idea again. See how the task constantly pulls against the relationship? Yet, according to the study that I quoted above, the most important aspect of success has to do with people skills and relationships while only 15% has to do with the tasks that seem to so easily consume us. I don’t know about you, but I find that simply remarkable.

The place I see this demonstrated best is in restaurants. Naturally, when you go into a restaurant, you are going there for the purpose of eating. Therefore, it is a task you are trying to accomplish. Yet, stop and think about it for a minute. The person who can either make or break the entire experience is usually the server who waits on you. If they have a positive, upbeat, friendly attitude when you place your order, almost everything goes well. But, if they seem to have a sour, bent-out-of-shape attitude, it immediately makes the experience unpleasant. It even causes the food you order not to taste as good! I would be willing to bet that the majority of the times when we go out to eat most of us have a good experience. However, we have all had a bad experience on occasion. It usually has very little to do with the food and almost everything to do with the relational connection which we call service. That is why the relationship, whether in sales or service, must be the deciding factor that carries the day.

Do you treat the people that you work with every day like they are important to you? What about the people you live with or your extended family? What about those that you hardly know, but whom you come in contact with on a fairly regular basis? One of the most valuable pieces of information that I possess is the knowledge that relationships are more important than things; that people are more important than tasks; and that success, by a large margin, is found in our people skills, not in our technical skills or knowledge.

This week, step back and make a concentrated effort to have a paradigm shift in your life. I am not suggesting in any way that you give up learning the technical skills you need in order to accomplish the tasks you want to see completed. But, put the horse in front of that cart and go out of your way to demonstrate positive, uplifting, encouraging, helpful people skills with those with whom you come in contact. You will see a major difference in your own personal attitude as well as in the success rate of all that you do.

Courtesy: Anup Sen's E-group