A change that has been perceived by my children

I have worked as branch manager for the last 12 years in the bank. I was so preoccupied with the position that I was in the bank, I was behaving as if I am a branch manager in the home also. During this period even though my children were doing well in their education and performing well, I was always displaying my functional aspect of my parent hood. Some how I found my self distanced from them.

 

In August, I have under gone the training programme at Gurgoan and it made me think about my self and after a lot of internalizing about what has been told and feeling about the contents of the programme. The most important aspect I thought about of acting out of being level with my family members-my wife, son and daughter and also my relatives and colleagues in the learning center. 

The change was perceived by my children and they have expressed the same to their mother-that father has changed in the last year. The change of acting at being level with my children has made me to take a difficult decision of getting my daughter married with a boy she loved and she is the most happiest of all. Prior to the citizen ship my daughter and myself were hardly on speaking terms. Now although she is away from me after her marriage she is in contact with me on a daily basis. She is now working in Corporation Bank and practicing the citizenship with the customer of that bank and her colleagues are appreciating her for her good gestures even where she does not know the local language in Karnataka.  

There is another incident which has happened with my son who is in Chennai studying engineering. When he has asked me to buy a laptop I have denied him the same.Later it had to be repaired with a cost of 5000/- and I have scolded him for that even when there was nothing that he can do about that. After the programme in December, he came for holidays and misplaced the same lap top in a marriage function and he was very much afraid of how I would react to the negligence. But this time I did not react and I made only one comment that it can happen to any body – even me. I have taken him to a computer shop for purchase of a new laptop. He said that he will manage with his friend’s laptops. But I made him take my desk top which I was using at home and he is using the same now

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This incident has also changed him in the form that he is trying to reduce his expenses and become friendlier with me after this incidence. 

Contributed by P. RAMESH KUMAR, CHIEF MANAGER (TRAINING), STATE BANK LEARNING CENTRE, VIZIANAGARAM